Introduction
FOAAS (Fuck Off As A Service) provides a modern, RESTful, scalable solution to the common problem of telling people to fuck off.
Content Negotiation
FOAAS will respond to the following 'Accept:' request header values with appropriate content
text/plain- Content will be returned as a plain string.application/json- Content will be returned as a JSON object{ message: 'message', subtitle: 'subtitle' }text/html- default - Content will be returned as an HTML page with a twitter bootstrap hero unit, containing the message and the subtitle.
API
/everyone/:from
Will return content of the form 'Everyone can go and fuck off. - :from', e.g. /everyone/Jason will return 'Everyone can go and fuck off. - Jason'
/essex/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Bollocks to that, yooooou stooooopid wanker, you, :name! - :from', e.g. /essex/Jason/Monte will return 'Bollocks to that, yooooou stooooopid wanker, you, Jason! - Monte'
/london/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'That's bollocks, innit, :name. - :from', e.g. /london/Nico/Dawson will return 'That's bollocks, innit, Nico. - Dawson'
/thanks/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck you very much. - :from', e.g. /thanks/Jason will return 'Fuck you very much. - Jason'
/ity/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'What the fuckity fuck-fuck were you fucking doing, :name? - :from', e.g. /ity/Monte/Oliver will return 'What the fuckity fuck-fuck were you fucking doing, Monte? - Oliver'
/linus/:name/:from
Will return content of the form ':name, there aren't enough swear-words in the English language, so now I'll have to call you perkeleen vittupää just to express my disgust and frustration with this crap. - :from', e.g. /linus/Craig/Nico will return 'Craig, there aren't enough swear-words in the English language, so now I'll have to call you perkeleen vittupää just to express my disgust and frustration with this crap. - Nico'
/pink/:from
Will return content of the form 'Well, Fuck me pink. - :from', e.g. /pink/Jason will return 'Well, Fuck me pink. - Jason'
/given/:from
Will return content of the form '0 fucks given. - :from', e.g. /given/Craig will return '0 fucks given. - Craig'
/bag/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Eat a bag of dicks, :name. - :from', e.g. /bag/Oliver/Monte will return 'Eat a bag of dicks, Oliver. - Monte'
/bowl/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Eat a bowl of dicks, :name. - :from', e.g. /bowl/Nico/Jason will return 'Eat a bowl of dicks, Nico. - Jason'
/everything/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck everything. - :from', e.g. /everything/Dawson will return 'Fuck everything. - Dawson'
/shakespeare/:name/:from
Will return content of the form ':name, Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch! - :from', e.g. /shakespeare/Nico/Dawson will return 'Nico, Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch! - Dawson'
/you/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck you, :name. - :from', e.g. /you/Craig/Oliver will return 'Fuck you, Craig. - Oliver'
/life/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck my life. - :from', e.g. /life/Jason will return 'Fuck my life. - Jason'
/that/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck that. - :from', e.g. /that/Nico will return 'Fuck that. - Nico'
/chainsaw/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, :name. Do I look like Mother Teresa? - :from', e.g. /chainsaw/Jason/Craig will return 'Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, Jason. Do I look like Mother Teresa? - Craig'
/eat/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Eat a bowl of dicks, :name. - :from', e.g. /eat/Oliver/Monte will return 'Eat a bowl of dicks, Oliver. - Monte'
/king/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Oh fuck off, just really fuck off you total dickface. Christ :name, you are fucking thick. - :from', e.g. /king/Jason/Craig will return 'Oh fuck off, just really fuck off you total dickface. Christ Jason, you are fucking thick. - Craig'
/lawn/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Get off my Fucking lawn, :name. - :from', e.g. /lawn/Craig/Dawson will return 'Get off my Fucking lawn, Craig. - Dawson'
/off/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck off, :name. - :from', e.g. /off/Nico/Dawson will return 'Fuck off, Nico. - Dawson'
/this/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck this - :from', e.g. /this/Nico will return 'Fuck this - Nico'
/donut/:name/:from
Will return content of the form ':name, go and take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. - :from', e.g. /donut/Kurtis/Oliver will return 'Kurtis, go and take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. - Oliver'
EOFF == End Of Fucking File
- The Server