Introduction
FOAAS (Fuck Off As A Service) provides a modern, RESTful, scalable solution to the common problem of telling people to fuck off.
Content Negotiation
FOAAS will respond to the following 'Accept:' request header values with appropriate content
text/plain- Content will be returned as a plain string.application/json- Content will be returned as a JSON object{ message: 'message', subtitle: 'subtitle' }text/html- default - Content will be returned as an HTML page with a twitter bootstrap hero unit, containing the message and the subtitle.
API
/everyone/:from
Will return content of the form 'Everyone can go and fuck off. - :from', e.g. /everyone/Jason will return 'Everyone can go and fuck off. - Jason'
/essex/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Bollocks to that, yooooou stooooopid wanker, you, :name! - :from', e.g. /essex/Jason/Oliver will return 'Bollocks to that, yooooou stooooopid wanker, you, Jason! - Oliver'
/london/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'That's bollocks, innit, :name. - :from', e.g. /london/Dawson/Kurtis will return 'That's bollocks, innit, Dawson. - Kurtis'
/thanks/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck you very much. - :from', e.g. /thanks/Craig will return 'Fuck you very much. - Craig'
/ity/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'What the fuckity fuck-fuck were you fucking doing, :name? - :from', e.g. /ity/Monte/Dawson will return 'What the fuckity fuck-fuck were you fucking doing, Monte? - Dawson'
/linus/:name/:from
Will return content of the form ':name, there aren't enough swear-words in the English language, so now I'll have to call you perkeleen vittupää just to express my disgust and frustration with this crap. - :from', e.g. /linus/Monte/Dawson will return 'Monte, there aren't enough swear-words in the English language, so now I'll have to call you perkeleen vittupää just to express my disgust and frustration with this crap. - Dawson'
/pink/:from
Will return content of the form 'Well, Fuck me pink. - :from', e.g. /pink/Jason will return 'Well, Fuck me pink. - Jason'
/given/:from
Will return content of the form '0 fucks given. - :from', e.g. /given/Monte will return '0 fucks given. - Monte'
/bag/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Eat a bag of dicks, :name. - :from', e.g. /bag/Oliver/Nico will return 'Eat a bag of dicks, Oliver. - Nico'
/bowl/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Eat a bowl of dicks, :name. - :from', e.g. /bowl/Dawson/Craig will return 'Eat a bowl of dicks, Dawson. - Craig'
/everything/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck everything. - :from', e.g. /everything/Jason will return 'Fuck everything. - Jason'
/shakespeare/:name/:from
Will return content of the form ':name, Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch! - :from', e.g. /shakespeare/Dawson/Oliver will return 'Dawson, Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch! - Oliver'
/you/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck you, :name. - :from', e.g. /you/Monte/Craig will return 'Fuck you, Monte. - Craig'
/life/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck my life. - :from', e.g. /life/Nico will return 'Fuck my life. - Nico'
/that/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck that. - :from', e.g. /that/Jason will return 'Fuck that. - Jason'
/chainsaw/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, :name. Do I look like Mother Teresa? - :from', e.g. /chainsaw/Craig/Dawson will return 'Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, Craig. Do I look like Mother Teresa? - Dawson'
/eat/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Eat a bowl of dicks, :name. - :from', e.g. /eat/Nico/Kurtis will return 'Eat a bowl of dicks, Nico. - Kurtis'
/king/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Oh fuck off, just really fuck off you total dickface. Christ :name, you are fucking thick. - :from', e.g. /king/Jason/Monte will return 'Oh fuck off, just really fuck off you total dickface. Christ Jason, you are fucking thick. - Monte'
/lawn/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Get off my Fucking lawn, :name. - :from', e.g. /lawn/Nico/Kurtis will return 'Get off my Fucking lawn, Nico. - Kurtis'
/off/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck off, :name. - :from', e.g. /off/Kurtis/Dawson will return 'Fuck off, Kurtis. - Dawson'
/this/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck this - :from', e.g. /this/Jason will return 'Fuck this - Jason'
/donut/:name/:from
Will return content of the form ':name, go and take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. - :from', e.g. /donut/Kurtis/Dawson will return 'Kurtis, go and take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. - Dawson'
EOFF == End Of Fucking File
- The Server