Introduction
FOAAS (Fuck Off As A Service) provides a modern, RESTful, scalable solution to the common problem of telling people to fuck off.
Content Negotiation
FOAAS will respond to the following 'Accept:
' request header values with appropriate content
text/plain
- Content will be returned as a plain string.application/json
- Content will be returned as a JSON object{ message: 'message', subtitle: 'subtitle' }
text/html
- default - Content will be returned as an HTML page with a twitter bootstrap hero unit, containing the message and the subtitle.
API
/everyone/:from
Will return content of the form 'Everyone can go and fuck off. - :from', e.g. /everyone/Dawson will return 'Everyone can go and fuck off. - Dawson'
/essex/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Bollocks to that, yooooou stooooopid wanker, you, :name! - :from', e.g. /essex/Kurtis/Monte will return 'Bollocks to that, yooooou stooooopid wanker, you, Kurtis! - Monte'
/london/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'That's bollocks, innit, :name. - :from', e.g. /london/Jason/Craig will return 'That's bollocks, innit, Jason. - Craig'
/thanks/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck you very much. - :from', e.g. /thanks/Monte will return 'Fuck you very much. - Monte'
/ity/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'What the fuckity fuck-fuck were you fucking doing, :name? - :from', e.g. /ity/Oliver/Monte will return 'What the fuckity fuck-fuck were you fucking doing, Oliver? - Monte'
/linus/:name/:from
Will return content of the form ':name, there aren't enough swear-words in the English language, so now I'll have to call you perkeleen vittupää just to express my disgust and frustration with this crap. - :from', e.g. /linus/Monte/Nico will return 'Monte, there aren't enough swear-words in the English language, so now I'll have to call you perkeleen vittupää just to express my disgust and frustration with this crap. - Nico'
/pink/:from
Will return content of the form 'Well, Fuck me pink. - :from', e.g. /pink/Oliver will return 'Well, Fuck me pink. - Oliver'
/given/:from
Will return content of the form '0 fucks given. - :from', e.g. /given/Nico will return '0 fucks given. - Nico'
/bag/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Eat a bag of dicks, :name. - :from', e.g. /bag/Oliver/Dawson will return 'Eat a bag of dicks, Oliver. - Dawson'
/bowl/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Eat a bowl of dicks, :name. - :from', e.g. /bowl/Jason/Craig will return 'Eat a bowl of dicks, Jason. - Craig'
/everything/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck everything. - :from', e.g. /everything/Craig will return 'Fuck everything. - Craig'
/shakespeare/:name/:from
Will return content of the form ':name, Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch! - :from', e.g. /shakespeare/Monte/Kurtis will return 'Monte, Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch! - Kurtis'
/you/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck you, :name. - :from', e.g. /you/Dawson/Jason will return 'Fuck you, Dawson. - Jason'
/life/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck my life. - :from', e.g. /life/Oliver will return 'Fuck my life. - Oliver'
/that/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck that. - :from', e.g. /that/Dawson will return 'Fuck that. - Dawson'
/chainsaw/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, :name. Do I look like Mother Teresa? - :from', e.g. /chainsaw/Nico/Jason will return 'Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, Nico. Do I look like Mother Teresa? - Jason'
/eat/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Eat a bowl of dicks, :name. - :from', e.g. /eat/Dawson/Jason will return 'Eat a bowl of dicks, Dawson. - Jason'
/king/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Oh fuck off, just really fuck off you total dickface. Christ :name, you are fucking thick. - :from', e.g. /king/Oliver/Craig will return 'Oh fuck off, just really fuck off you total dickface. Christ Oliver, you are fucking thick. - Craig'
/lawn/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Get off my Fucking lawn, :name. - :from', e.g. /lawn/Oliver/Kurtis will return 'Get off my Fucking lawn, Oliver. - Kurtis'
/off/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck off, :name. - :from', e.g. /off/Monte/Jason will return 'Fuck off, Monte. - Jason'
/this/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck this - :from', e.g. /this/Kurtis will return 'Fuck this - Kurtis'
/donut/:name/:from
Will return content of the form ':name, go and take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. - :from', e.g. /donut/Jason/Oliver will return 'Jason, go and take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. - Oliver'
EOFF == End Of Fucking File
- The Server