Introduction
FOAAS (Fuck Off As A Service) provides a modern, RESTful, scalable solution to the common problem of telling people to fuck off.
Content Negotiation
FOAAS will respond to the following 'Accept:
' request header values with appropriate content
text/plain
- Content will be returned as a plain string.application/json
- Content will be returned as a JSON object{ message: 'message', subtitle: 'subtitle' }
text/html
- default - Content will be returned as an HTML page with a twitter bootstrap hero unit, containing the message and the subtitle.
API
/everyone/:from
Will return content of the form 'Everyone can go and fuck off. - :from', e.g. /everyone/Dawson will return 'Everyone can go and fuck off. - Dawson'
/essex/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Bollocks to that, yooooou stooooopid wanker, you, :name! - :from', e.g. /essex/Kurtis/Nico will return 'Bollocks to that, yooooou stooooopid wanker, you, Kurtis! - Nico'
/london/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'That's bollocks, innit, :name. - :from', e.g. /london/Dawson/Kurtis will return 'That's bollocks, innit, Dawson. - Kurtis'
/thanks/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck you very much. - :from', e.g. /thanks/Nico will return 'Fuck you very much. - Nico'
/ity/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'What the fuckity fuck-fuck were you fucking doing, :name? - :from', e.g. /ity/Oliver/Craig will return 'What the fuckity fuck-fuck were you fucking doing, Oliver? - Craig'
/linus/:name/:from
Will return content of the form ':name, there aren't enough swear-words in the English language, so now I'll have to call you perkeleen vittupää just to express my disgust and frustration with this crap. - :from', e.g. /linus/Jason/Craig will return 'Jason, there aren't enough swear-words in the English language, so now I'll have to call you perkeleen vittupää just to express my disgust and frustration with this crap. - Craig'
/pink/:from
Will return content of the form 'Well, Fuck me pink. - :from', e.g. /pink/Craig will return 'Well, Fuck me pink. - Craig'
/given/:from
Will return content of the form '0 fucks given. - :from', e.g. /given/Jason will return '0 fucks given. - Jason'
/bag/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Eat a bag of dicks, :name. - :from', e.g. /bag/Monte/Nico will return 'Eat a bag of dicks, Monte. - Nico'
/bowl/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Eat a bowl of dicks, :name. - :from', e.g. /bowl/Dawson/Kurtis will return 'Eat a bowl of dicks, Dawson. - Kurtis'
/everything/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck everything. - :from', e.g. /everything/Jason will return 'Fuck everything. - Jason'
/shakespeare/:name/:from
Will return content of the form ':name, Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch! - :from', e.g. /shakespeare/Monte/Kurtis will return 'Monte, Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch! - Kurtis'
/you/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck you, :name. - :from', e.g. /you/Kurtis/Nico will return 'Fuck you, Kurtis. - Nico'
/life/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck my life. - :from', e.g. /life/Monte will return 'Fuck my life. - Monte'
/that/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck that. - :from', e.g. /that/Oliver will return 'Fuck that. - Oliver'
/chainsaw/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, :name. Do I look like Mother Teresa? - :from', e.g. /chainsaw/Monte/Craig will return 'Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, Monte. Do I look like Mother Teresa? - Craig'
/eat/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Eat a bowl of dicks, :name. - :from', e.g. /eat/Kurtis/Dawson will return 'Eat a bowl of dicks, Kurtis. - Dawson'
/king/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Oh fuck off, just really fuck off you total dickface. Christ :name, you are fucking thick. - :from', e.g. /king/Dawson/Kurtis will return 'Oh fuck off, just really fuck off you total dickface. Christ Dawson, you are fucking thick. - Kurtis'
/lawn/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Get off my Fucking lawn, :name. - :from', e.g. /lawn/Kurtis/Nico will return 'Get off my Fucking lawn, Kurtis. - Nico'
/off/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck off, :name. - :from', e.g. /off/Jason/Dawson will return 'Fuck off, Jason. - Dawson'
/this/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck this - :from', e.g. /this/Craig will return 'Fuck this - Craig'
/donut/:name/:from
Will return content of the form ':name, go and take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. - :from', e.g. /donut/Oliver/Monte will return 'Oliver, go and take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. - Monte'
EOFF == End Of Fucking File
- The Server